Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Sols... Part 2

Ok, so after nearly two weeks of fighting poor internet connections, uploading failures, and chronic laziness, I have finally got around to posting the next installment of my trip to the Sols.

Part 2 (and Part 3) is for the particular appreciation of my friend B at Not Going Gently, who grew up in the Sols in a village that we island hopped over on my previously mentioned, terrifying, flight in the little plane.

Part 1 left off at our arrival at the Gizo Hotel in the beautiful Western province of the Solomon Islands. The photo below is the front of the Gizo Hotel and its store front on the main street in Gizo. It doesn't look like much at the moment, but is in the process of being renovated to include a mobile phone store, internet cafe and IT servicing business. By now the green netting should be down and people should be able to access the stores behind. Upstairs is the staff quarters of the Gizo Hotel.

This is the view of the main street and Gizo bay from the restaurant of the Gizo Hotel. Directly opposite the restaurant is the main wharf where the cargo and passenger ships dock, and down the road to the left of the picture is the market house where an assortment of fresh fruits, and vegetables are available for sale, as well as fresh fish (we saw the fishermen bringing in freshly caught yellowfin tuna to be sold at the market), and the ever present betel nut (which is a whole other story to be covered in a future post).

If you walk out of the hotel and turn to the right and walk down the main street, away from the market, you pass all the government buildings, such as the police station, the magistrates court, and the hospital. The building below is a new hospital being built in Gizo using funding from the Japanese Goverment. The hospital below will be 3 stories and is expected to be completed early next year. it will be the largest hospital in the country and the people of Gizo are pretty proud of that fact!

Some people call the Japanese Government's aid to the Pacific "reparations for the war". I'm not sure I can be that cynical about the whole thing.

Will get Part 3 up ASAP... Honiara, here we come!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Sols... Part 1

After having a fabulously dirty weekend in a BIG city on the BIG island, the huMAN and I jumped a plane on Monday to fly to The Solomon Islands, a group of islands north of the rock I call home.

The Sols are a group of 990 islands in the South Pacific, east of Papua New Guinea. They are also home to the largest  lagoon in the world, or so I'm  told.

After arriving in the Capital, Honiara, we made a quick trip to the domestic airport and jumped a teeny weeny (although there are smaller) plane and flew northwest to Gizo, the major town in the Western province of the Sols.
Da plane! Da plane!

After doing an island hop, and landing at Seghe and Munda airports first, we finally arrived at the airstrip close to Gizo and caught the hotel ferry across to the town of Gizo.
Da Airstrip!

Da Ferry (With Gizo in the background)
We arrived at the Gizo Hotel where the huMAN and I were promptly (and to our hilarity) checked into a room with twin singles instead of a "married bed"!!! We decided we'd make do and ended up pushing the beds together!
Da Hotel
(Ok the whole Tattoo / Fantasy Island thing is wearing thin now)
The hotel is basic but has a lovely pool area and a beautiful bar / restaurant with elaborately carved pillars and hard wood tables, and mother of pearl inlay around the bar, benchtops and stair handrails!

My internet time here is running out so I will have to post more tomorrow!

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Ahh the benefits of dirty weekends away to the Big Island with the huMAN:
  • Snuggles,
  • Shopping,
  • Yum Cha,
  • Boost juice,
  • More snuggles,
  • Dinners out,
  • Kisses,
  • Ice cream,
  • Sleeping,
  • Bowling,
  • Movies,
  • Even more snuggles,
  • More shopping,
  • The Simpsons, and
  • Oportos!!!
Tomorrow heading off to a new set of islands for a few days for the huMAN's work.

Ahhh the jetsetting life for me!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Friday already??!!

Gosh time flies! I have entirely lost track of this week!!

I spent much of this week sitting in on a court case to support of a friend of mine. 3 days of sitting through evidence seems, at the time, to drag it heels but all of a sudden I have reached the end of the week and realised that there are a million things I coulda, shoulda, and woulda done.
Fingers crossed the outcome on the trial will be favourable, however it may take a while for the judgement to be handed down.

Other highlights of this week have been:
  • Blisters on my feet from my new shoes.
  • Bumping into my ex-husbands parents in the local supermarket and being summonsed for "a talk", during which they tried to convince me to return to my ex and "try again".
  • And, having friends over for dinner, cooking my meat sauce and my bechamel sauce for my lasagne and then finding, an hour before guests were supposed to arrive, that the lasagne sheets I had in the cupboard were filled with weevils.
  • THEN, after obtaining new lasagne sheets from a kind guest who stopped off at the supermarket, layering my beautiful lasagne perfectly in my brand new pyrex dish and going to put it into the oven, only to find the dish is too big to fit inside!!!
I have earned my vodka and my dirty weekend away with the huMAN this week!

Monday, October 18, 2010


Once upon a time in magical blog land, there was a wonderful lady who kept many amused and entertained by setting up a game called "Meet and Greet" each weekend. It was a great way to "meet" other bloggers and catch up with old friends after a busy week of work, study and life.

The premise was this, each week on a Thursday evening a post would go up outlining the "rules" of the game and then people would comment on that post. The first person to comment would say Hi to Michele. The commenters after that would say Hi to Michele and Hi to the person above them in the comment list and then they would go and visit the blog of the person above them and leave a comment there as well, including in their comment the line "Michele sent me".

It was always interesting to see new blogs and hear new peoples takes on life and current affairs.

Bloggers came and went, but there was always a core group of dedicated Meet and Greeters to catch up with. Many friendships and connections were formed, some of which survive to this day.

When Michele closed down her blog several years ago, Meet and Greet was continued by a few of those who were dedicated to its perpetuation. Unfortunately it seems to have died out now.

I miss Meet and Greet. I've thought about trying to re-invigorate it here at Tales, or maybe set up a separate Meet and Greet Blog.

Tell me what you think. Is this a networking forum that we shouold try to revive? Or is it better to let sleeping dogs lie?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Hiding out.

Today is one of my least favourite days of the week... cruise ship day. :o(

The day when a huge boat pulls itself into the town harbour and spews up to 2000 people out of it's bowels and onto our shores. These people, many of whom are obese, ignorant, loud mouthed, Coke-guzzling bogans, then trawl through my town, blocking up the streets, taking my usual coffee table, being rude to the locals, quibbling over prices, and generally making nuiscances of themselves.

Given the state of the economy and the fact that the global financial crisis is only just starting to take it's toll here on my little rock, I'm not really in a position to try and run these people out of town while angrily shaking my fist at them and demanding that they never come back! So instead I hide out at home, desperately trying to ignore the fact that town is being overrun.

When I hear the TOOT TOOT of the ship's horn at 5pm, I'll know it's safe to leave the safety of my little apartment and head to the pub to survey the days damage and comiserate with other cruise ship intolerant locals who are glad to see the wide arse of the ship, carrying its not so precious cargo of drongos, pull out of the harbour and sail off into the distance...

Then next week we'll get to do it all again!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Just quickly...

I am now back on my little rock after returning from my trip to a bigger island with the huMAN.

An awesome time was had by all, and my closet is now bursting at the seams with new clothes!!

The "mothership" was appeased, as was my craving for KFC popcorn chicken... Too bad I left an unopened litre of yummy chocolate Movenpick icecream in the apartment freezer!! :o(

(Semi)Regular "postage" will resume tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Ok, so, tomorrow I get to leave on a well earned holiday to a bigger island with the huMAN!

This means:
  • a plane trip (actually 4 of them).
  • a week away from the small town.
  • a week away from the ex-husband.
  • shopping.
  • eating food that isn't available here in the small town (mmmmm fresh milk...).
  • sightseeing and other fun activities.
  • new magazines.
  • a trip to see the mothership (my mother).
  • sleeping in. AND
  • lots of time with the huMAN.
WOOHOO!!!! Yay for me!!!

On the down side, that sniffly, fluey thing I mentioned yesterday, seems to be travelling southward and has settled on my chest.
Boo to hacking night time cough, wheezing, and general crappiness. :o(

Please planes, don't make it worse so that I can enjoy my lovely and exciting tri in relatively good health. AMEN!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Unemployed bummery...

Well kids, it's been a while since my last post.
I've been caught up for the past week or so tying up loose ends and preparing to flee my place of employment (now former place of employment).
Liberation day was last Thursday... the day that I said "goodbye cruel circus, I'm off to join the world!".

It was tougher than I expected it to be. Tears were shed, sleep was lost, and many a minute was spent pondering the question "where to from here?".

One of the things that I've had to face, which I didn't expect, is a little loss of identity. I need to start back at the beginning and work out where I fit in now.
Living in a small town everyone has their roles... The Baker, The IT Guy, The Bank Manager...
Up until last Thursday I was The Nurse. Now i'm just a nurse. I have left behind my little defining role in the community and will now need to find a new role to slot into.
I'm thinking I'll claim the role of Awesomest Human Being and Supreme Queen Of Rock... I don't think we have one of those in this town yet!!!

In other news, finishing up at work seems to have given my body license to succumb to this rotten flu and hayfever that i've been fighting for the past week.
I'm enjoying the view at the local cafe, using their free internet... and snotting all over their napkins...
I wish the snot would go away.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Quick note...

I haven't been able to blog as frequently as I would like this week, as my work time is actually being used for WORK!!!

I'm training my replacement who will take over from me when I finish up my job next Thursday, so I may be a bit quiet until then.

After that, I have decided that I will become a professional blogger... if there is such a thing... :oD

Can't wait to not work here anymore... only 6.5 working days to go!!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

I wish mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood...

Ok, so the other day I had a bitch and whine about the tightening of my jeans after having lost a lot of weight this year.

Today, I got on the liars scales and discovered that the extra 2 kilos which i'd hoped had just been excess knowledge, or fluid, or because I was clothed rather than un-clothed, had decided to move in and join the party with their other "fat cell" mates that I've been trying to evict. :o( BooHoo!!!

It is time to take action against these nasty invaders!!!

I will start walking more, get a gym membership (and use it), eat better, and paddle more!

I've gotta nip this in the bud before it gets out of control!

My goal is to be able to wear those damn jeans comfortably again, which, in a numerical sense, means I need to drop about 5kgs AND keep them off.

But I'll let the clothes, not the liars scales be the judge!

I'll keep you in the loop with how it goes!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The end is nigh...

I received good news today. My boss's wife dropped a sprog...
That's right kids, she popped one out...
She's hatched a live one!...

Yes, yet another baby was born into this world... Blah blah blah...

You'd be correct if, after reading carefully between the lines, your highly attuned sarcasm detectors had detected the faintest of traces of sarcasm in my words.

It's not that I have anything against the kid... it's just that I hate my boss!
I can't stand his business ethic. I can't stand his personal views. And all in all I think he's a total arsehole just don't think he's a very nice person. His "winning attitude" and people skills (or lack thereof) have clearly been inherited down the family line, if my dealings with his father and brothers are anything to go by... which is why the prospect of him carrying on his genetic line does not thrill me with great joy.

The fact that I have seen his other "children" in action also gives me cause to question whether or not this baby is really the blessing that people make babies out to be.
In this case the word "children" is interchangable with the phrase "Satan's hell raising spawn".

At least after populating the earth with 26,000 rotten little girls (yes the figure may be a little skewed, but let's just say this ain't a small family... in any sense of the word), he's finally won hisself a little boy... poor kid.

The man is a lesson in why you should tarp your load, or get the chop.

I'm sure his acquisition of yet another child is one of the signs of an impending apocalypse...


On the plus side, he is only my boss until the end of the month. 15 days...
I can't wait to get out of here!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Too many muffins...

I put on my jeans earlier this week and found I have a muffin top... Yes! That's right! You heard me! I had a roll of soft, pink flesh starting to spill over the top of my beautiful size 11 bumster boot cut jeans!!!


On New Years Eve 2009, I was put on a plane by a colleague to be flown to a big hospital for treatment after having been sick with chest pains for a week. My gallbladder ruined my New Years plans.

Long story short(ish): It took the big hospital 5 days, 26,000 hours of making me fast, and numerous invasive tests, to conclude that what I was telling them was right, i.e. my gallbladder was rooted.

On day 6, they performed surgery and on the 7th day I rested.

After that, I lost a lot ot weight...
14kgs in 6 months to be exact!

The combination of my body no longer being weighed down by a sluggish gallbladder, and the stress of my failing marriage and subsequent separation, did wonders for me!
I got HOT(ter)!!!!

So hot was I that none of my clothes fit me anymore, thereby necessitating a trip to the big rock to buy new clothes, (because apparently it isn't appropriate to suggest coming into work naked because you think you'd look better than wearing your rotten, saggy, elephant arse looking, old uniform.)....
Which led to the discovery that for the first time in my life I fit into size 11 jeans (I didn't even fit them in highschool!)...
Which led to the purchase of several pairs of the buggers, despite the fact I live in tropical climes and wear jeans for about 4.5 days per year.

And now I find I have a muffin top??!! :o(

I blame the huMAN for this recent "inflation". Too many nice lunches and dinners and sneaky sweets.
The obvious conclusion to draw here is that lovely men make me fat!

I'm cracking down on the sweets, and ramping up the paddleboarding and walking.

Find another home fat cells! You're not welcome here!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Well done Sir! Jolly Good!

I am a nurse.

In my line of work you find yourself congratulating people and making a big fuss over the most mundane things. Things, that when you or I do them in our day to day existence, pass with little to no notice. But when a patient does them you have to act like it is the best thing in the world... Stupid things.

Like when a patient is recovering from surgery and passes their first fart post op. Or when someone gets a needle and doesn't faint. Or when a kid (and sometimes an adult) poops or pees in a cup on cue...

Pathlogy collection morning: The reason why I have spent my morning clapping and cheering and congratulating all those who pass (be it pee, poop, or "out") before me.
The teddy bear stamp is in high demand.
The carry on is exhausting, and a little bit pathetic. But it somehow seems an important, nay, required, part of the procedure!

And, if I'm really truly honest with myself, somewhere, deep inside, it makes a tiny weeny little piece of me wish that someone congratulated me when I pooped... Just a little bit...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

This made my day...

It was my turn to be on the receiving end of my "I love you" game today.

The huMAN sent me the following this morning:

"I love you because you make the best dinners in the whole wide world....
I love you because you tickle me and no one has done that to me since i was a kid.....
I love you because you make me feel so secure in myself....
I love you because you play silly games with me and make me laugh at us both....
I love you because you give me a hard time about they types of movies i enjoy....
Most of all I just love you for you...the most loving, caring person I have ever met and the best mate that a bloke could ever ask for...."
Dude has totally made my day!!!
This is the best thing anyone has ever said to me!!!
Your turn: What's the best thing anyone has ever said to you?

Monday, September 6, 2010

Spring has sprung...

Unfortunately, so have my migranes.

I suffer from seasonal migranes which affect me quite severely, particularly in April (Autumn) and September (Spring). I've had them investigated and been tested for triggers etc, but the only thing it keeps coming back to is the change of the seasons and light triggers.

So over the past few days, while everyone else has been outside enjoying the glorious first weekend of spring, I've been inside, popping pain killers and wanting to shoot myself to stop the pain that has been chiselling away at my brow bone above and behind my right eye... Certainly not the most fun one can have with ones clothes on!

This was one of the worst I've had for a while and it got so bad that I took an extra dose of my migrane medication, which maybe I shouldn't have done, because an hour or so later I had a numb arm and a numb tongue!

At least this one, while nasty, wasn't a patch on the Great Four Day Migrane of Easter 2009... Four pain and spew filled days that only came to an end when the Doctor visited my house and stuck medication filled needles in my butt, leaving me drugged for 24 hours.

The worst thing about the migranes is that not only have I lost a beautiful, sunfilled day to being in pain, I lose another one or two days to my post-migrane hangover, which sees my headfilled with fog and my functioning capacity reduced to almost zero.

My weekend was stolen by my migrane... :o(

Friday, September 3, 2010

Fully sick bro...

Yes I am.

Why do I do this to myself?

I could feel something brewing earlier this week.
It all started with the innocuous chesty cough, followed a few days later by a suspicious early morning sore throat.
I ignored it. I pushed myself into work, day after day. Forced myself to keep going...

....and now, BAM!!!
I have the cough and the sore throat PLUS the added bonus of fatigue, headaches, muscle cramping, runny nose and sneezing, and upset tummy.

Hurry up weekend so I can spend two days feeling sore and sorry for myself infront of the TV.

I'm so sick that I'm actually going to forgo my beloved paddleboarding tomorrow morning in favour of a lie in! I haven't missed a boarding session in 10 weeks!!! :o(

On the plus side, only 19 working days to go until I finish this silly job and become a lady of leisure!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I love you...

I was a bit bored yesterday and there were some people in my life who were far away or feeling a bit down.
So I decided to play the "I love you" game.

At the risk of making it sound like Pollyanna's "Glad Game", the point of the "I love you" game is to send the important people in your life a message to tell them why you love them and how important they are to you.

The message can be one line, or one hundred and one lines.

It can be for little things or big things. Silly things or serious things. It can be for anything you want it to be.

It made me feel good to send these messages to my important people... and it brightened their days to receive them.

It makes a big difference when you know that someone loves you just because... or even though...

To my mama I sent:
I love you because you iron pillow cases...
I love you because you throw your arm across the passenger seat in the car when you're driving to stop people going through the window...
I love you because you give your chickens "D" names...
I love you because you hate marshmallows...
I love you because you make tuna mornay...
I love you because you're my mum.

To my best mate I sent:
I love you even though you are entirely ignorant of the production of one of the best films in history.
I love you because you laugh at the same stupid things that I do.
I love you because you admit to eating dog food.
I love you because you are so much fun.

To my gentleman friend, the huMAN, I sent:
I love you because you eat ice blocks with me at 4am.
I love you because you give the best hugs in the whole wide world.
I love you because you write beautiful e-mails and messages.

Try it sometime.
Let your special people know that they are loved for sensible and ridiculous reasons.
Make a difference in someones day!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Just don't go licking coins and we'll get along fine...

WARNING: Possibly not the best post to read if you are eating, or if you are of a delicate nature. ;o)

I went for dinner last night with some friends.
Lovely friends.
Friends that have been very good to me during the troubled times of the last few months.

Fresh Yellow Fin Tuna is back in town, so we had an excellent meal of fresh sashimi, followed by BBQ'ed tuna steaks, chips and a beautiful salad.
Mrs T always cooks such lovely meals. Mr T is rough as guts and could talk the hinge off a rusty gate.
Their company is always great, and the view from their deck over the harbour is amazing!

I went with the huMAN, my latest gentleman friend, who is also a friend of theirs, and we spent a civilised evening eating and chatting.

Well, it was civilised until the topic of Papua New Guinea came up.

Mr and Mrs T lived in PNG for many years, saw many things and heard many stories. The huMAN has travelled to PNG occasionally for work.

PNG is a beautiful country that is heavily affected by a "rascal" element which threatens businesses, homes and lives. Health care is poor. STD's are prevalent. And people hide money in their underpants so that it can't be stolen from them on the bus or on the street by the rascals.

It was this point that was the jumping off point for the conversation that brought us undone.

Mr T told us a rather sad story about the wife of a friend of his who ran a store. She had lost the sight in one of her eyes after unknowingly handling underpant money then touching her face, thereby spreading an STD (most likely to be gonorrhoea) into her eye.

The huMAN piped up that he'd "better stop licking coins when he goes over there then"...



Goodbye civility!

Hello hilarity!

What am I getting myself in for? :oD

Monday, August 30, 2010

Lazy weekend = BLISS!!

I'm am currently recovering from one of the laziest weekends in the history of the world.

A weekend of "camping" on the living room floor, watching DVD's, laughing crazily at stupid things, eating fresh tuna sashimi, party pies and icy poles, snuggles, chatting, and hanging out with one of the most awesome people I know!

It was pure, unadulterated heaven!!

I went out for my usual weekend paddle boarding session early Saturday morning, which was super hard work given the wind, and subsequent swell and chop factor in the harbour. Paddling in those conditions for 90 minutes, made my arms and abs ache, thereby justifying spending the rest of the weekend in bed away from the rest of the world!

But unfortunately, we can't stop time and hold on to moments. As King Solomon said, "This too shall pass", and once again I find myself facing another Monday morning back at work...

On the plus side, this too shall pass.

Weekend, I love you. Please come back!!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Life is beautiful

The seed for this post was planted by Carmi after he posted about his son's flip flops (or thongs).

My life has been the scene of much turmoil and upheaval in recent months.

But out of all the scandal, stress, shit slinging and depression, I have come to a realisation.

It's not a very original realisation. Many people have had it before me, and, hopefully, many more people will have it in times to come.

The realisation?

Life is beautiful!

Life is about happiness. You can't lose yourself in someone else's happiness. It is important to do things that make you feel good (obviously not to the detriment of others).
Go to the beach. Spend time with friends. Sing. Eat. Laugh. Love. Live...

We all, especially in our younger years, get so fixated on growing up. Being a grown up. Acting like an adult.

I have come to the conclusion that it's time to grow back down! Stop taking things too seriously! And look for the beauty in those little moments!

LIVE your life and have FUN, and be a better human being for it!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Return to the blogosphere

At another time, in another place, I once was a blogger.

I blogged about my stupid, crazy, and wild life.
I vented and I ranted.
I reflected and I rejoiced.
I had loyal readers and (dare I say it) FRIENDS in the blogosphere who kept coming back week after week, always commenting. Kind, funny and thoughtful words.
I played "Meet and Greet".

Then I met a man, fell in love, moved to an out of the way place, and got married.
Blogging, and its associated perks, disappeared from my life.

Now, several years later, I find myself in the throes of a divorce and being compelled to re-join the blogosphere.

I need my outlet to vent and rant. To reflect and rejoice.

Blogging was cathartic. A way to work my way through problems to a satisfactory solution. A celebration of life. A significant part of who I was.

For a while that person got lost.

I'm getting back to my roots.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Scarlet Rising

A new blog.
A new incarnation.
A new start.

A world of opportunity lies ahead of me...