Friday, September 10, 2010

Too many muffins...

I put on my jeans earlier this week and found I have a muffin top... Yes! That's right! You heard me! I had a roll of soft, pink flesh starting to spill over the top of my beautiful size 11 bumster boot cut jeans!!!

MY LIFE, AS I KNOW IT, IS OVER!!!!!

On New Years Eve 2009, I was put on a plane by a colleague to be flown to a big hospital for treatment after having been sick with chest pains for a week. My gallbladder ruined my New Years plans.

Long story short(ish): It took the big hospital 5 days, 26,000 hours of making me fast, and numerous invasive tests, to conclude that what I was telling them was right, i.e. my gallbladder was rooted.

On day 6, they performed surgery and on the 7th day I rested.

After that, I lost a lot ot weight...
14kgs in 6 months to be exact!

The combination of my body no longer being weighed down by a sluggish gallbladder, and the stress of my failing marriage and subsequent separation, did wonders for me!
I got HOT(ter)!!!!

So hot was I that none of my clothes fit me anymore, thereby necessitating a trip to the big rock to buy new clothes, (because apparently it isn't appropriate to suggest coming into work naked because you think you'd look better than wearing your rotten, saggy, elephant arse looking, old uniform.)....
Which led to the discovery that for the first time in my life I fit into size 11 jeans (I didn't even fit them in highschool!)...
Which led to the purchase of several pairs of the buggers, despite the fact I live in tropical climes and wear jeans for about 4.5 days per year.
EXCITEMENT!!!!

And now I find I have a muffin top??!! :o(
DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!

I blame the huMAN for this recent "inflation". Too many nice lunches and dinners and sneaky sweets.
The obvious conclusion to draw here is that lovely men make me fat!

I'm cracking down on the sweets, and ramping up the paddleboarding and walking.

Find another home fat cells! You're not welcome here!

3 comments:

kenju said...

Mine aren't welcome either - but they seem to keep asking their friends to come and visit!!

Chrissy said...

Thanks a lot. Now I have a taste for a muffin.

Fickle Cattle said...

I agree with lovely men making people fat. My boyfriend does it to me all the time.

PS. I didn't know those things were called muffin tops. Thanks.

Fickle Cattle
ficklecattle.blogspot.com