Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Quick note...

I haven't been able to blog as frequently as I would like this week, as my work time is actually being used for WORK!!!

I'm training my replacement who will take over from me when I finish up my job next Thursday, so I may be a bit quiet until then.

After that, I have decided that I will become a professional blogger... if there is such a thing... :oD

Can't wait to not work here anymore... only 6.5 working days to go!!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

I wish mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood...

Ok, so the other day I had a bitch and whine about the tightening of my jeans after having lost a lot of weight this year.

Today, I got on the liars scales and discovered that the extra 2 kilos which i'd hoped had just been excess knowledge, or fluid, or because I was clothed rather than un-clothed, had decided to move in and join the party with their other "fat cell" mates that I've been trying to evict. :o( BooHoo!!!

It is time to take action against these nasty invaders!!!

I will start walking more, get a gym membership (and use it), eat better, and paddle more!

I've gotta nip this in the bud before it gets out of control!

My goal is to be able to wear those damn jeans comfortably again, which, in a numerical sense, means I need to drop about 5kgs AND keep them off.

But I'll let the clothes, not the liars scales be the judge!

I'll keep you in the loop with how it goes!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The end is nigh...

I received good news today. My boss's wife dropped a sprog...
That's right kids, she popped one out...
She's hatched a live one!...

Yes, yet another baby was born into this world... Blah blah blah...

You'd be correct if, after reading carefully between the lines, your highly attuned sarcasm detectors had detected the faintest of traces of sarcasm in my words.

It's not that I have anything against the kid... it's just that I hate my boss!
I can't stand his business ethic. I can't stand his personal views. And all in all I think he's a total arsehole just don't think he's a very nice person. His "winning attitude" and people skills (or lack thereof) have clearly been inherited down the family line, if my dealings with his father and brothers are anything to go by... which is why the prospect of him carrying on his genetic line does not thrill me with great joy.

The fact that I have seen his other "children" in action also gives me cause to question whether or not this baby is really the blessing that people make babies out to be.
In this case the word "children" is interchangable with the phrase "Satan's hell raising spawn".

At least after populating the earth with 26,000 rotten little girls (yes the figure may be a little skewed, but let's just say this ain't a small family... in any sense of the word), he's finally won hisself a little boy... poor kid.

The man is a lesson in why you should tarp your load, or get the chop.

I'm sure his acquisition of yet another child is one of the signs of an impending apocalypse...


On the plus side, he is only my boss until the end of the month. 15 days...
I can't wait to get out of here!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Too many muffins...

I put on my jeans earlier this week and found I have a muffin top... Yes! That's right! You heard me! I had a roll of soft, pink flesh starting to spill over the top of my beautiful size 11 bumster boot cut jeans!!!


On New Years Eve 2009, I was put on a plane by a colleague to be flown to a big hospital for treatment after having been sick with chest pains for a week. My gallbladder ruined my New Years plans.

Long story short(ish): It took the big hospital 5 days, 26,000 hours of making me fast, and numerous invasive tests, to conclude that what I was telling them was right, i.e. my gallbladder was rooted.

On day 6, they performed surgery and on the 7th day I rested.

After that, I lost a lot ot weight...
14kgs in 6 months to be exact!

The combination of my body no longer being weighed down by a sluggish gallbladder, and the stress of my failing marriage and subsequent separation, did wonders for me!
I got HOT(ter)!!!!

So hot was I that none of my clothes fit me anymore, thereby necessitating a trip to the big rock to buy new clothes, (because apparently it isn't appropriate to suggest coming into work naked because you think you'd look better than wearing your rotten, saggy, elephant arse looking, old uniform.)....
Which led to the discovery that for the first time in my life I fit into size 11 jeans (I didn't even fit them in highschool!)...
Which led to the purchase of several pairs of the buggers, despite the fact I live in tropical climes and wear jeans for about 4.5 days per year.

And now I find I have a muffin top??!! :o(

I blame the huMAN for this recent "inflation". Too many nice lunches and dinners and sneaky sweets.
The obvious conclusion to draw here is that lovely men make me fat!

I'm cracking down on the sweets, and ramping up the paddleboarding and walking.

Find another home fat cells! You're not welcome here!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Well done Sir! Jolly Good!

I am a nurse.

In my line of work you find yourself congratulating people and making a big fuss over the most mundane things. Things, that when you or I do them in our day to day existence, pass with little to no notice. But when a patient does them you have to act like it is the best thing in the world... Stupid things.

Like when a patient is recovering from surgery and passes their first fart post op. Or when someone gets a needle and doesn't faint. Or when a kid (and sometimes an adult) poops or pees in a cup on cue...

Pathlogy collection morning: The reason why I have spent my morning clapping and cheering and congratulating all those who pass (be it pee, poop, or "out") before me.
The teddy bear stamp is in high demand.
The carry on is exhausting, and a little bit pathetic. But it somehow seems an important, nay, required, part of the procedure!

And, if I'm really truly honest with myself, somewhere, deep inside, it makes a tiny weeny little piece of me wish that someone congratulated me when I pooped... Just a little bit...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

This made my day...

It was my turn to be on the receiving end of my "I love you" game today.

The huMAN sent me the following this morning:

"I love you because you make the best dinners in the whole wide world....
I love you because you tickle me and no one has done that to me since i was a kid.....
I love you because you make me feel so secure in myself....
I love you because you play silly games with me and make me laugh at us both....
I love you because you give me a hard time about they types of movies i enjoy....
Most of all I just love you for you...the most loving, caring person I have ever met and the best mate that a bloke could ever ask for...."
Dude has totally made my day!!!
This is the best thing anyone has ever said to me!!!
Your turn: What's the best thing anyone has ever said to you?

Monday, September 6, 2010

Spring has sprung...

Unfortunately, so have my migranes.

I suffer from seasonal migranes which affect me quite severely, particularly in April (Autumn) and September (Spring). I've had them investigated and been tested for triggers etc, but the only thing it keeps coming back to is the change of the seasons and light triggers.

So over the past few days, while everyone else has been outside enjoying the glorious first weekend of spring, I've been inside, popping pain killers and wanting to shoot myself to stop the pain that has been chiselling away at my brow bone above and behind my right eye... Certainly not the most fun one can have with ones clothes on!

This was one of the worst I've had for a while and it got so bad that I took an extra dose of my migrane medication, which maybe I shouldn't have done, because an hour or so later I had a numb arm and a numb tongue!

At least this one, while nasty, wasn't a patch on the Great Four Day Migrane of Easter 2009... Four pain and spew filled days that only came to an end when the Doctor visited my house and stuck medication filled needles in my butt, leaving me drugged for 24 hours.

The worst thing about the migranes is that not only have I lost a beautiful, sunfilled day to being in pain, I lose another one or two days to my post-migrane hangover, which sees my headfilled with fog and my functioning capacity reduced to almost zero.

My weekend was stolen by my migrane... :o(

Friday, September 3, 2010

Fully sick bro...

Yes I am.

Why do I do this to myself?

I could feel something brewing earlier this week.
It all started with the innocuous chesty cough, followed a few days later by a suspicious early morning sore throat.
I ignored it. I pushed myself into work, day after day. Forced myself to keep going...

....and now, BAM!!!
I have the cough and the sore throat PLUS the added bonus of fatigue, headaches, muscle cramping, runny nose and sneezing, and upset tummy.

Hurry up weekend so I can spend two days feeling sore and sorry for myself infront of the TV.

I'm so sick that I'm actually going to forgo my beloved paddleboarding tomorrow morning in favour of a lie in! I haven't missed a boarding session in 10 weeks!!! :o(

On the plus side, only 19 working days to go until I finish this silly job and become a lady of leisure!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I love you...

I was a bit bored yesterday and there were some people in my life who were far away or feeling a bit down.
So I decided to play the "I love you" game.

At the risk of making it sound like Pollyanna's "Glad Game", the point of the "I love you" game is to send the important people in your life a message to tell them why you love them and how important they are to you.

The message can be one line, or one hundred and one lines.

It can be for little things or big things. Silly things or serious things. It can be for anything you want it to be.

It made me feel good to send these messages to my important people... and it brightened their days to receive them.

It makes a big difference when you know that someone loves you just because... or even though...

To my mama I sent:
I love you because you iron pillow cases...
I love you because you throw your arm across the passenger seat in the car when you're driving to stop people going through the window...
I love you because you give your chickens "D" names...
I love you because you hate marshmallows...
I love you because you make tuna mornay...
I love you because you're my mum.

To my best mate I sent:
I love you even though you are entirely ignorant of the production of one of the best films in history.
I love you because you laugh at the same stupid things that I do.
I love you because you admit to eating dog food.
I love you because you are so much fun.

To my gentleman friend, the huMAN, I sent:
I love you because you eat ice blocks with me at 4am.
I love you because you give the best hugs in the whole wide world.
I love you because you write beautiful e-mails and messages.

Try it sometime.
Let your special people know that they are loved for sensible and ridiculous reasons.
Make a difference in someones day!